Focus on what you want


What you focus on grows.  I genuinely believe that.  Do you?

I want to have a growth mindset and I bet you do too.    We get to decide what our mindset is.  If we find it is not working for us, we can change it.

The other day, I woke up with a phrase in my head.  I had to write it down and then research it because I had no idea why it was on my mind.  The words were….

“We bring about what we think about”.

Think about what you’re thinking about

Then I had to stop and think about what I had been thinking about lately…lol!  It hit me like a ton of bricks.

I instantly knew why those words were on my mind.  Some of my thoughts recently have not been that great, honestly.  This was the reminder that I needed to get rid of my stinkin’ thinkin’ if I want to grow personally and professionally.

Do you ever just let something fester and then work it over and over in your mind and pretty soon that negative thought can become all-consuming and puts a taint on the way you view other things that come into your world.

The mind is a powerful thing!

What you focus on grows good or bad.

We can fill our mind with things that result in a life filled with anxiety, bitterness, fear, envy, procrastination, lack of courage or confidence and settling for what the day brings to us.  Or we can fill our mind with things that result in living an empowered life, working towards our goals with courage and gaining confidence.

It is so important that our thought life is in line with what we want to grow.  That means taking control over what we think about.

When I was raising the kids, I would remind them to be careful what they put into their mind…..

what you focus on grows


I am quite sure you don’t want to “grow garbage” in the world, or in your life, so don’t put other’s negative views or opinion into your mind.  You are in control, friend.

How to get focused on what you want to grow

Vision Board

I have done vision boards for many years.  That may be uncomfortable for some of you, but I like the visual cues to shift my mind.  It really is helpful for me to visualize goals that I am striving for and they aren’t all materialistic either 😊.

Written Goals

In addition to a vision board, I also write down goals for my year.

According to Forbes, you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down.

Training the Mind

Once you determine what you want to grow, you need to focus on things that will get you there.

  • Read encouraging and uplifting books.  I am reading a book right now called, Switch on Your Brain by Dr Caroline Leaf.  Her research is in cognitive neuroscience.  She writes about how we think and the impact of thinking on what we say and do.

Dr Leaf studies neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity means that the brain is malleable and adaptable. The brain can change because of our mental activity, according to Dr Leaf’s research.    Whatever we think about the most will grow, whether it be positive, or negative.

  • Listen to podcasts that are encouraging and motivational and align with your world view and goals.
  • Start a gratitude journal and only write down things that are positive and things that bring you joy. It is almost impossible to be in a negative mindset when you are focusing on good and positive.

We are bombarded with so much negative input, obstacles are often put in our paths.  Some of us may have some bad memories from experiences we have lived through.  We cannot control the fact that these things have happened, but we can create new thoughts that are not negative or toxic to the life we want to live.


When I am thinking of growing, I think of gardening.  For my garden to grow, I must plant seeds and then focus on my garden and provide it what it needs, like water.  I must also take out the weeds, so the plants have space to grow, blossom and thrive.

Now, using that example, if you want to grow {for example another stream of income}, you are going to need to plant that seed in your mind and do what’s needed to make that seed grow. You are going to need to remove “weeds” from your mind so that the seed can grow, blossom, and thrive!

Set Boundaries

Set boundaries on what you allow to take up precious real estate in your mind.   Allowing toxic people or situations will stunt the growth.    Toxic is defined as poisonous substances.  If you leave conversations, or scroll through your newsfeed, and leave feeling drained, or emotionally exhausted, you are dealing with toxicity.

If you agree with Mark Twain’s quote here, and your mind is where you spend most of your time, why allow toxicity into your life? 

Cut it out! 

You have the power to do that.

There are times where it is very difficult to be able to completely remove yourself from a person that is toxic to you.  Try to address your concerns, with love.  If that does not work, cut way back on contact.


We are living in challenging and hard times.  Life can really stink right now.  You may have good reason to be negative or discouraged.  You may need to feel those emotions but try the best you can to set a timer on your pity party.  Please understand I am not belittling what you are going through, or feeling, at all.  But it is dangerous to get stuck in a negative mindset.  Nothing good will come from that.

One of my favorite quotes comes from the bible and it says:

… you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditate on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious— the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly, things to praise, not things to curse”

These words are written by a man named Paul.  He was not sitting on a beach or writing in front of a cozy fire, when he penned these words.  He was in jail!  Imagine the things that could have been going through his mind then.  He was probably hungry, dirty, lonely, sad, maybe depressed, but he chose to write words of encouragement, and not complaints because he understood way back then the effects our thoughts can have on our life.

If you want to have success with a growth mindset, you need to start by paying attention to what you allow to fill your mind.

If you know someone that may be able to use this, please share <3

Melanie Silkworth

11 Comments on What you focus on grows

  1. This is SO ON POINT…even with all the new buzz about Clubhouse and how beautiful it is to have conversations with others in that space, even THAT platform can leave you feeling anxious, worried, replaying past experiences that are triggered and simply really heavy…and all you are doing is trying to have some connections, here something beneficial, have some fun…I have enjoyed it but some days I just need to take a break from that and all platforms…setting up boundaries around what you allow to take up your precious sight, listening time & headspace is SO important for how we feel each day! I hope you’ll watch my “live” last night…just doing that verbal brain dump of all the thoughts that were swirling, it released me & I’m not light-headed today! I have more energy…great tips in this post, Mel!! Thanks for this timely post!!

    • Thank you for reading Geri. Clubhouse is a lot, but I will say I have learned a lot on there too. Like you said set boundaries on what you allow in. I will pop into the community you have. I’m sharing that next post.

  2. Not only is this a great blog, I will reference it when needed to keep me on the right track! I really think you cover every base here!
    I do agree with Mark Twain’s quote although I had not seen it before and it really makes you want to control to some extent what we think about . Thank you for sharing this!!

    • Thanks for popping in Sherri. Your mind is worth setting boundaries for, in my opinion.
      Xx Melanie

  3. Hi Melanie,

    Wow! This is a great blog. Full of inspirational quotes and tips to shift one’s mindset.

    I lost my last job during the pandemic. After a few interviews and rejections, I realised that it is time to move out of my comfort zone and the unhappy state of my mind. I had to re-train my mind to be brave and to shut out all the negativities thrown at me. Three months later, I am happy, doing something totally different to set me free. I have written 11 blogs on my own business website and I think there will be more to come as I progress through….. watch this space!

    Thanks for sharing your blog.

    Best wishes,


    • Hi Robin: So happy to hear that. I spent 20 years recruiting and prepping candidates to get ready for their interviews. If you ever need someone to bounce ideas off should you get in that position again, reach out to me! Congratulates on moving out of your comfort zone!
      Xx Melanie

  4. I needed this post today! Thank you for sharing your thoughts about mindset. It really makes such a difference. I am always amazed to recall Paul and the life he overcame and the strong faith it took for him to endure the hardships.
    Thank you! ❤️

    • Thank you for reading Kim! Agree with you about Paul. Great example of faith in action:)

      Xx Melanie

  5. Melanie,

    You are so right and I appreciate your tips. My daughters and I do vision boards together towards the end of every year and it’s such a great tool-for each of us and I love when we share our hopes and dreams.

    Training our thoughts is so hard but so very important.

    Thank you for sharing this.

    • That’s so sweet Michele! I have to switch my thoughts often. We can do it:)
      Xx Melanie

  6. This has been very true for me lately. What I am focusing on has grown. I changed direction with my blog and am finally really enjoying it!


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